It felt cruel for me to want this man, THIS man, 16 years my junior and who I believed was sure to abandon and hurt me that it was possible. I really attempted to destroy my desire by gathering any flaw, mistake, and inconsistency i really could find and hurling them at him one after the other. The much much much deeper we fell, the greater amount of fearful we became, while the more I seemed for flaws to indicate and criticize. We thought We might stop loving him if We knew precisely how deeply problematic and immature he had been. Rather, I’d offered him valid reason to keep me personally, and I happened to be more fearful than in the past which he would.
In a short time, we had been swept up in a destructive and pattern that is painful. 続きを読む Realizing just how much i needed life with him terrified me personally.